Said By Brad

I was sitting at my computer last night, trying to finish off some work, and I found my mind wandering on to random crap. Among the many things I mused over (most unsuitable for yours eyes or ears) I began to think about Christmas. It’s that time of year, and it hardly seems like any time at all since last Christmas. This is what I hate;

1) The Television

Ok, I can’t speak for anywhere else, but the UK television schedule always sucks around Christmas. They always have Christmas specials of crappy old programs no-one really watches the rest of the year, but suddenly get excited about at Christmas. Somebody normally dies in one, if not more, of the soaps and they usually run the same old crappy films every dam year. Oliver, The Snowman, and all the other shitty Disney Christmas films that make me want to retch with horror.

2) The Food

Again, I don’t know how you do it in America, or anywhere else. But in the UK Christmas Dinner is almost always Turkey with ‘all the trimmings’ namely sprouts, carrots, cabbage. You know the stuff. Now I don’t have an issue with vegetables or anything, it’s just the fact it’s the same dam food every fucking year. Lets have a little variety? You hear about these crazy people who live Christmas ‘every day’ and have this same shit to eat every day. If I did that I’d want to kill myself within a week.

3) The Wrapping Paper

Worst fucking waste of paper ever. I was wrapping up my presents last week, and because this is the first Christmas where I’ve had a job, I’ve pretty much brought presents for all my extended family (where as before my parents would pay for me) and I had about 25-30 presents to wrap. And I must have used about 20 fucking trees worth of paper, and what for? So they can rip it off in a hurry when I give it to them, barely paying it any attention, and afterwards just toss it in the bin? It’s a useless waste of paper.

4) Christmas Cards

Now I’m not really against Christmas cards in general, it’s more the cards I get from people I’ve never heard of. Sitting on my desk are 21 Christmas Cards. 11 are from friends, 10 are from Family. Of the 10 from my Family I’ve only seen 2 of the people sending the cards in the last 3 months. So 8 cards from people, the majority of whom I’ve not seen in the last year. What’s the fucking point? I didn’t send them a card, I’ve never sent them a card, why the hell do they bother? I honestly don’t give a shit if they’re wishing me a merry Christmas when I’ve not seen them in the last year, and probably won’t see them next year either and it’s not even like they’ve put some personalized message in it either, it’s just the usual ‘To Bradley, Merry Christmas, From ___’.

5) Presents

When I was younger presents were ‘the’ main reason why I liked Christmas. I’ll admit I was a spoilt child, but never to a crazy degree like some kids. I never got huge presents for no reason, but at Christmas I did. So Christmas was fun, because usually there would have been something I’d have wanted for months and months and now it was Christmas my parents had an excuse to buy it for me. Now I have a job, I can just go out and buy pretty much anything I realistically want. I have no idea what I’m getting for Christmas, because theres really nothing I want. I wanted an Xbox360 a few months back, and I just went out and got one. I wanted a new TV two weeks ago, I went out and bought one. Hell the other week I ordered a remote control helicopter that I liked the look of, and that was quite expensive. I don’t need Christmas as an excuse to get stuff anymore. I get it for myself. And because of that, I’m dreading to think what embarrassing crap my family will get me.

So on Christmas day, when you’re opening your presents, sitting down happily with your familys, and eating your food. Think of me; I’ll be as bitter, twisted and pissed off as ever.

Merry Fucking Christmas.

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